Well I killed my facebook account a few weeks ago thinking that it would actually make me write more here instead of there. That was a mistake.
Here is the updates that I guess have been missing: Youngest started crawling out of his crib and last Friday didn't get to sleep until after 23:00 because he kept doing it thinking it was fun. Our solution to that was to convert his crib to a low bed for him to sleep in. Problem solved no more kids falling out of cribs. Now if he would just stay in bed that would be also awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that I'm no longer engaged at work and really just feel like a robot going through the motions. I don't care about the company as a whole or anything else really I just do my job and make people happy. I am hating the commute more and more with each passing month so I will be happy when I find something new .... If I ever find a job that I might like. I'm getting tired of only finding first level support positions available and nothing else. Just means when I start looking it just gets more depressing.
I think because of the the above two reasons I can honestly say I fall under "clinical exhaustion". Not like I ever had a great memory but now I can't remember anything past a few days ago and even then it is iffy. After getting a good night's sleep I'm still tired and have a hard time functioning three or four hours after I wake up, might be part of the reason for my lack of engagement at work. I'm doing my best trying to get to bed early but it is hard when Youngest is always up causing problems.
I need a new job. This one is slowly draining me and filling me with nothing. So for the past three years while I have been job hunting I have had a single interview and after that I found out that they were shelving the job because they wanted someone more junior for the role. I felt sorry for everyone that took part. Hiring someone is a long process and that wasted everyone's time. So to those that get rejection letters for your applications feel happy that someone even notices you because for the past three years no one really has for me.